I think I loved him

I'm not sure...

Quick glances filled with so much passion I feared everyone would know.
Stolen moments at lunch or a quick run to the store with him were the highlights of my day
Dawn reaching conversations..

I was his sole concern and my presence just seemed to brighten his day.

I think I loved him.
I'm not sure...
So much so that I would betray the trust of the people I hold closest to my heart just to be with him. And he let me.

Caught up in the practical life we outlined for ourselves and the promises we made to respect one another. I couldn't see that his demons would eventually turn on me. I was living a fairy tale. Where have you been all my life?

I think I loved him.

I leaped for the first time in my life. Head first and heart in my throat. I was scared of how it would all play out but he kept my faith strong.

I'm not sure..

But of course nothing lasts forever. His demons attacked.
His doubts became my aim to please
His insecurities became my constant need to reassure.
And his lies made my heart ache.

Is this love? Love doesn't take pleasure in watching the one who means the most suffer. Is this tragic part of the story, where I feel like all hope is lost?

My story is still unfolding
My heart is still trying to hold on.
My mind is made up. I think I love him but know I know for sure.

*sigh*